Two (yes 2!) Top Ten Lists

You all gave so many good options, and some were great with our intended topic (“Awkward Moment”) but others seem more geared specifically to the specific idea that the sermon video had stopped (which is the problem the top ten list is intended for) and so I put together two top ten lists. I’m not sure yet which we’ll go with the first time we have a glitch at our video campus, but I hope we never need to use either! Thanks for your help (and sorry if one of yours’ didn’t make the lists) –

The Top Ten Things to Do When Your Sermon Video Stops Working

10 Blame the mishap on global warming.
9 Set up large scale and have compulsory weigh-in. Designate Campus Pastor as “Weight Guesser”.
8 Perform an impromptu puppet show featuring ‘Sock-o!’ the talking sock
7 Yell “That’s what she said!” immediately after the preacher’s last line when the video stops
6 Just put in Sweating to the Oldies, Volume 3.
5 No need for panic! Just ask, “What would Chuck Norris Do?”
4 Claim the problem was judgment from God because the offering wasn’t quite what it needed to be!
3 Remind everyone that their seat cushion also acts as a flotation device…
2 Have “plants” in congregation yell “Preach it!”, “Amen,” and “You know it” at the screen as if the video is still going.
1 Have the campus pastor whip out a really lame top ten list!

The Top Ten Things to Do During an Awkward Moment at Church

10 Ask, very loudly, “So, does anyone in here kiss better than my mom?”
9 Shout “Who wants to see my new Satan tattoo?”
8 Insert hands in armpits, remove, places hands under nose, inhale. Repeat until awkward moment has passed
7 It’s time for the “Guess how old the gum under your seat is” game!
6 Give yourself a wedgie
5 Show self-made documentary you made about your last rectal exam
4 Discuss with person sitting next to whether legally changing your name to Colonial Sanders is a good idea
3 Air guitar contest!
2 Yell, “Can I borrow some toilet paper from anyone?”
1 Continue sleeping

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