From Israel #5

So I have something incredible to report from the Holy Land, but it may depress you. It turns out that while American scientists have been working on nuclear weaponry and getting men on the moon, the Israelites have been hard at work perfecting toilet technology. I’m not joking. Israeli toilets have two (yes 2) flush buttons. One is a quick easy flush, while the other produces a deep serious flush. So you choose your button depending on what you have deposited into said toilet.

It’s genius!

My only question is: What happens if you hit both buttons at the same time? My guess, but I have nothing to back this up, is that it’s sort of like the flux capacitor from Back to the Future, and that by hitting both buttons at the same time you send your poop back to like 1971 where some dude is sitting on a park bench and suddenly gets a huge load of poop on his head. He has no idea how it happened, but people in Israel are laughing as they pull up their pants.

Wild stuff, and it makes me wonder if I should even come back to America. I mean, how can I live the rest of my life with such inferior toilet technology???

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