A Horse & Carriage? (Part 1)

Thought I’d share a few posts on your wife for pastors, especially church planters. I don’t mean to be sexist. If you are a female pastor or church planter, more power to ya. I just don’t know anything about being a male spouse of a church planter, so I can’t speak on that…

So of first importance (I think for any pastor): Marry someone who is stronger spiritually and closer to God than you. Now if you’re some kind of spiritual superman, maybe this is just impossible. But if you’re anything like me, there is room above you in the spiritual ladder. And if there is, and you still have some choice in the matter, find someone to marry who is up there.

Why? Because you’ll need it! Ministry is harder than crap. That’s why like 80% of those who enter in go AWOL, not to mention the many who trainwreck spiritually. Why haven’t I? Well, yes, the grace of God. But (I think) every pastor has the grace of God. What I also have is a fantastic wife. I literally can’t even begin to imagine where I would be without her example, support, wisdom, friendship. I’m not just saying that because I’m supposed to. It’s ridiculously true.

Now it may well be that it’s too late for you. You’re already married, and perhaps you don’t have a wife who is stronger spiritually and closer to God than you. What then? Well, you do everything you can to pour into her and give her every opportunity and resource to grow. My wife didn’t use to be where she is. In fact, there was a day when I had her spiritually. In fact, there was a day when she wasn’t a Christian, and I led her to Jesus! After that we started dating, and then later got married. But the entire time I did all kinds of things to help fast-track her growth. Then one day I realized she had somehow passed me, and now she’s trying to fast-track my growth! (And I just wish I was joking.)

– featured on newchurches.com