Affair Proof

There has been a lot of talk and blogging about a well-known pastor who confessed to an affair yesterday. Because he’s a friend of mine I’ve e-mailed him. But I won’t comment on it here, because I think it’s none of my business.

What I will say is that we all need to be on guard. A lot of people have been saying that today: “Don’t let this happen to you!” but I don’t think that helps much. Here’s my practical advice for all of us:

  1. Love God. I mean really love Him, stay close to Him.
  2. Fear God. Be afraid of the consequences of sin and of God Himself.
  3. Have Authentic Accountability. Be totally transparent with a few trusted people about your temptations.
  4. Have Wide Boundaries. Set up your boundaries so even if you didn’t keep them, you’d still be far, far from sin.

Personally, I think the keys are #2 and #4. I’ve had several friends who have had affairs. Just about all of them would say that they (at least) felt like they loved God deeply. And many of them had accountability in their lives. (They just lied to their accountability partners.)

But I think virtually none of them would say that they feared God, but the Bible teaches us that we should. And I think if we fear Him, and the consequences of our sin, it would save us from having to suffer a lot of those consequences.

And … I think just about none of them would say they had good boundaries. I feel confident I’ll never screw up like this, and one of the biggest reasons is that I don’t see how I could. My wife ALWAYS knows where I am, and I am NEVER alone with a female. I take that to extremes. If there’s only one person in the office and it’s a female, I stay in my car until someone else shows up. I never drive alone with a female no matter what the situation.

So, if I’m right and those are four keys to affair-proof yourself – which of those four do you need to improve?