The Most Important Lesson
Last weekend at Verve we talked about dating and asked the question: When are you ready to get married? Answer: When you don’t need to get married. You’re not ready to get married until you’ve learned that God is enough and can meet all your needs.
You were designed to have your soul filled with God and to be loved perfectly by Him. But if you haven’t learned the most important lesson, that God is enough, then you’ll get married looking to your spouse to fill you up and love you perfectly … and your spouse can’t do that. You’ll put too much weight, too much pressure, on your marriage, and it will strain and probably destroy it. You’re not ready to get married until you’ve learned that God is enough and can meet all your needs.
And if you are married and your marriage is struggling, I bet this is the reason. If you haven’t given God a place in your life where He can be enough for you and meet your needs, you will look to your spouse for the perfect love only He can give. And no wonder it isn’t working.
I was wondering if you had any thoughts about this along with Genesis 2:18-24 where God says it is not good for man to be alone. He then brings out each animal God created but no helper was found. So, then God created woman. What would you say to someone who said it seems in Eden the first man needed something more than God (not to sound heretical). Do you think it is more in light of a helper to do work? I really respect your thoughts and would love what you think. (Love the blog! Always challenging!)
That’s a good question. And I’d agree with someone who said that the first man needed something more than God. That is what God said.
I think, in regard to my post, that I’d say what happened in Eden shows our need for people, but not necessarily for a spouse. God created us in His image, and He lives in community (three in one), and so we were designed to live in community – not just with Him, but with other people. But, again, I don’t think that idea necessarily means we have to be married. And that would seem to be confirmed by the times we read in the New Testament (I think twice) that (at least in some respects) it’s better not to be married.
So I’d still say that if you get married needing a spouse, you’re in trouble because you’ll put too much weight on that relationship.
Sorry if that all came out kind of disjointed, I’ve had a long day!