Fun Soccer Commentary

I’m in my room in the “hotel” in Poland, and they have wi-fi, so I’m on the live gamecast of the Eurocup game between Germany and Turkey on ESPNsoccernet. (This is a HUGE soccer match.)

Anyway, some of the live commentary is hysterical. If you’re in need of a laugh, check out these actual quotes. They could go on forever, so I’ll only include some of the best from the 59th to the 90th minutes of the game.

• “Well, this is incredible. We’ve no pictures from the game, so I’ll have to rely on radio commentary for updates! Not our fault people, but I bet there’s a few tecchy lads in Switzerland with their pants on fire right now.”
• “Apparently, Topal hit a free kick that nearly made it into the second tier of the stand. Well, that’s what the lad on the radio has just said. Err, dum-de-dum…”
• “Turkey press according to Mr Radio Man, ‘Turkey are almost toying with Germany,’ he just said. Copycat. I churned that one out in half one. Ha!”
• “Lord knows if these minutes are right by the way….”
• “Ladies and gentlemen, we have sound! And pictures! A power cut meant no action was transmitted to the football mad world for a good six minutes! Bet the pubs in Germany and Turkey were interesting!”
• “And we’ve lost pictures again! Tee hee! Sack the electricity board!!”
• “Mr Radio Man is blaming Rustu, who has come for a cross and fluffed it, allowing Klose to nod into an empty net. Apparently.”
• “Right, we have pictures again, but sadly not in time to see a replay of the goal! This is comedy. Ridiculous.”
• “Karadeniz has come on for Turkey but I’ve no idea who for because the cameras didn’t pick it up.”
• “A shocking mistake. The very definition of a goalkeeping howler.”
• “Kazim Richards, has blown his big moment by blazing his free kick over the bar. It HAD to be on target, seeing as how crap Lehmann has been.”
• “The beeb have pictures back but no commentary, so we still have radio man, who is a good three seconds ahead of the TV coverage! There’s no clock on screen either!”
• “I completely agree with what the Radio Man has just said: ‘There’s not a decent goalkeeper on the pitch.'”
• “The clock has disappeared again by the way!”
• “It’s over! Germany are in the Euro 2008 final, with possibly one of the worst performances in the competitions history! Turkey have been robbed!”